Life is about TRUSTING our feeling and TAKING CHANCES, LOSING and FINDING HAPPINESS, APPRECIATING the memories and LEARNING from the past... Let's together ask ALLAH to help us for not wasting the life we have.

Sunday, March 28, 2010

"Basyirah, it is tomorrow..."

This is a true story what was happening to me yesterday night. It is when I was having a sleep and I was slumbering tightly. I mean no disturbance. As long as I remember, I don’t have any night dreaming last night. Kind of a solemn sleep I think. But honestly, I’m going to say I heard a voice whispering to my right ear. A very clear and caring voice. The voice said, “Basyirah, it is tomorrow…” I thought it was my dad cuz that voice seems like it was a man. As I heard that voice, I began to open my eyes slowly and said, “What, who’s that?” I rose up my leaned body on my bed. I took a very sharp look around me. Hell yeah, there was nobody in my room ‘cept Hamizah (my lil sister) who was sleeping beside me. I took a look around me for the second time, wondering if I was mistaken. But I was not. It was really nobody there.
Who’s that voice came from? Nor did I care! What I really care is, what’s happening tomorrow. I took a look at the clock, which is hanging on the wall. It was sharp half past three in the morning. O Allah, I was totally blocked. I didn't know what to do. I really couldn’t stop thinking what is going to happen the day after.
Later than a few seconds, tears began to flow down my cheeks. I sobbed loudly. I quickly walked out of my room when I realized my sobbing just disturbed my sister to sleep. I went downstairs then I cried alone. I just couldn’t stand it anymore. I felt like wanted to shout over my lungs. Suddenly, something just tells me that khassah is going to start tomorrow. Then I know why I cried so hard ‘til I couldn’t tell. I was just about to forget ‘bout khassah. But now, I’m ‘bout to remember it again. I really feel a big hard pain in my heart until now. Damn, that hurts a lot. I felt my heart was just like going to explode.
I took my koran cuz I know that was the only way to make me stop those damn tears. But I didn’t read it because I felt like to weak to do so. I just ‘landed my lips’ on it for a few times and hugged it as tight as I could. This continued about 30 minutes! Then, I began to be OK. I went back upstairs and I did what I supposed to.

It was just a few minutes to reach 5 o’clock when I began to get tired then I slept again.
When I woke up for subuh, I still could remember how the voice sounds like. And, I can really feel how its breath blowing my ears until now.
Anyway, I don’t care about it much. I just couldn’t imagine how I’m going to feel so losing for not continuing my studies in khassah.
O Allah, I’m begging You… Please do show me what is the best. If khassah is not the best for me, please…… do let me forget about it. You know that I’m not very strong to face this thing anymore. Please Allah, I’m begging You.