"Basyirah, it is tomorrow..."

This is a true story what was happening to me yesterday night. It is when I was having a sleep and I was slumbering tightly. I mean no disturbance. As long as I remember, I don’t have any night dreaming last night. Kind of a solemn sleep I think. But honestly, I’m going to say I heard a voice whispering to my right ear. A very clear and caring voice. The voice said, “Basyirah, it is tomorrow…” I thought it was my dad cuz that voice seems like it was a man. As I heard that voice, I began to open my eyes slowly and said, “What, who’s that?” I rose up my leaned body on my bed. I took a very sharp look around me. Hell yeah, there was nobody in my room ‘cept Hamizah (my lil sister) who was sleeping beside me. I took a look around me for the second time, wondering if I was mistaken. But I was not. It was really nobody there.
Who’s that voice came from? Nor did I care! What I really care is, what’s happening tomorrow. I took a look at the clock, which is hanging on the wall. It was sharp half past three in the morning. O Allah, I was totally blocked. I didn't know what to do. I really couldn’t stop thinking what is going to happen the day after.
Later than a few seconds, tears began to flow down my cheeks. I sobbed loudly. I quickly walked out of my room when I realized my sobbing just disturbed my sister to sleep. I went downstairs then I cried alone. I just couldn’t stand it anymore. I felt like wanted to shout over my lungs. Suddenly, something just tells me that khassah is going to start tomorrow. Then I know why I cried so hard ‘til I couldn’t tell. I was just about to forget ‘bout khassah. But now, I’m ‘bout to remember it again. I really feel a big hard pain in my heart until now. Damn, that hurts a lot. I felt my heart was just like going to explode.
I took my koran cuz I know that was the only way to make me stop those damn tears. But I didn’t read it because I felt like to weak to do so. I just ‘landed my lips’ on it for a few times and hugged it as tight as I could. This continued about 30 minutes! Then, I began to be OK. I went back upstairs and I did what I supposed to.


It was just a few minutes to reach 5 o’clock when I began to get tired then I slept again.
When I woke up for subuh, I still could remember how the voice sounds like. And, I can really feel how its breath blowing my ears until now.
Anyway, I don’t care about it much. I just couldn’t imagine how I’m going to feel so losing for not continuing my studies in khassah.
O Allah, I’m begging You… Please do show me what is the best. If khassah is not the best for me, please…… do let me forget about it. You know that I’m not very strong to face this thing anymore. Please Allah, I’m begging You.

Attention please

There is something I really wanted to say.

Yes, I really want to say this...

And this is from my heart.

It is not something that make anybody sad

or disappointed

but this is just something sincerely from me.

I want to

congratulate them

who have the chance to study in khassah.

Well, congratulations...

I am going to celebrate it for all of you

Yes, I am

I bet...

If Allah let me live more longer.

Tomorrow

it'll be the celebration day

and of course the day will be

full of happiness

No cry...

No sadness...

No depressing...

No gloomy...

No heartbreaking..

But...

Just happiness.

Special for all of you

May Allah help you all,

other muslims

and me

in D&T

Insha-Allah..

O Allah, I'm smiling...

O Allah, it is quite a long period when I didn’t feel the real pleasure of smiling. Now, I am smiling and I love it so much. I promise to myself not to cry over the problem I'm facing right now anymore. At this moment, I notice there is still a wonderful life with me. I am amazed on how you created this life to make the humans happy.
Allah... Last night when I look deeply at the charming bright stars floating in the sky, I can feel something special that You gave me. Yes, I sense Your love in my heart. Your love is there all the time to make me smile. I didn’t even realize it was there anymore but actually, it is. I can feel that You are always with me no matter what. And that feeling just make me smile again.
O Allah, Thanks for accompanying me when I am alone. Thanks for always listening to me when I am sad. Thanks for understanding me when I am disappointed. Thanks for hugging me when I lose hope. Thanks for always holding my hands tightly to show me the way where I suppose to go on. Thanks for never living me alone at my wits’ end. Thanks for never turn Your back on me even when I turn my back on You. And finally, thanks for everything (what is and what was).
O Allah, after You allow me to choose what I wanted, You let my heart began to accept the reality that is happening around me. Thank you for helping me to choose my right decision cuz after that, I began to start putting a happy smile on my face. With my wholehearted faith in you, I’m going to leave everything in Your hand.
Umi and Abah, you always try your best for my goodness ‘til I don’t know how to thank you both. Sorry if I had make your heart broken for not listening to your opinion. I know I’m a quite hard-headed person. I’m deadly sorry for that. After this, I’ll be always ready accepting whatever from you both. O Allah, please forgive all of my sins and my parents too. And please do love them as how they loved me when I’m little.
Ciwan, yesterday I just told you that I feel like wanted to go to the moon and shout to everyone that I am smiling. Well, glad to say this to you…. I am on the moon now and of course I’m totally blissful.
Aliya, thanks for giving me strength to continue my life no matter how hard it is. I know you are quite unhappy to know I was depressing yesterday. Anyway, let’s together smile now because now I am.
Khaulah, thanks for your believing. You’ve pray for me and trust me that I can bring myself wherever I go. Take good care of Matri and I hope for you the best, Insha-Allah… For your information, now I'm smiling to my ears.
Kak Maisarah, thanks for spending your time for me even you are in New Zealand. You have to know that I’m very glad to have a sister like you. Well, you don’t have to worry for me much because now I’m okay. I'm smiling already. Thank you so much.
Finally, to those who ever pray for me, worried about me, or gave me force to face my life though it is just a little even I didn’t notice it, thank you very, very much for being nice to me. I’ll remember your kindness as long as I live, insha-Allah…

Khassah ker huh??

Nak khassah.. tak nak khassah.. nak khassah.. tak nak khassah......... Aaaaa!!! macam mana ni? nak masuk khassah ke tak ni?

"Khassah mula bila, Aliya?"

"Isnin depan... Anti jadi masuk khassah tak?"

Terdiam... Tak tau nak jawab. Tiba-tiba, terdengar pula adik ana Ridwan menyanyikan nasyid 'Muhasabah Cinta'.

Argghh.. lagu tu. Lagu tu membuatkan ana terimbas balik kenangan di Matri. Tanpa disedari, air mata dah mula mengalir ke pipi.

"Aliya..." sambung ana..

"Rasa rugi sangat kalau tak masuk khassah. Nak balik Matri.. Nak balik Matri.."

Terus.. Aliya pula terdiam.. (terfikirkan sesuatu)

Ana terus sambung menangis... Sungguh ana maksudkan, rasa rugi sangat kalau tak masuk khassah.. Rasa rugi sangat kalau tak masuk Matri..

Terus ana sambung menangis.

"Nak Matri.. Nak Matri.."

Tiba-tiba... ana terfikir sorang-sorang..

"Aku nak Matri, tapi khassah?? Aku betul-betul nak khassah ke?"

Buntu... Keliru... Tak tau nak buat macam mana. Pilih khassah atau tak?

Ya Allah!! Sesungguhnya aku ni terlampau lemah. Dan aku nak minta tolong pada Engkau lagi, Ya Allah. Tolonglah aku... Bagilah pada aku apa yang terbaik untuk aku. Andainya khassah tu yang terbaik buatku, Kau mudahkanlah urusanku ke arah itu, Kau izinkanlah aku ke sana, Kau gerakkanlah hati aku untuk masuk khassah tanpa ragu-ragu, dan tolong jangan biarkan apa-apa pun yang menghalang aku mengejarnya.

Tapi.... Tapi... Andainya... khassah tu bukan yang terbaik untuk aku, aku mohon dan aku rela walaupun hal ni berat bagi aku... Kau tolonglah ubah hati aku supaya aku tidak mengharap lagi untuk ke khassah, Kau halanglah aku ke arah itu, dan tolong bukakanlah peluang aku untuk memilih apa yang terbaik untuk aku.

Tolonglah, Ya Allah... aku memohon pertolongan Kau kerana Kau mengetahui segala-galanya yang zahir mahupun yang tersembunyi. Aku merendahkan diri aku kepada-Mu serendah-rendahnya kerana aku sedar aku ini hanyalah seorang hamba yang hina sehinggakan tak dapat aku bayangkan betapa hinanya diriku sendiri. Dan... aku menyerahkan diriku sepenuhnya kepada-Mu,Ya Allah... Oleh itu, tolonglah.. Tunjukkanlah aku jalan yang terbaik buat aku...

English Time

As how we know, english man always uses idioms in their daily conversation. So this time, I'm gonna list some idioms down here for us to study at least a little. Well, nobody have to tell that I'm not really good in english cuz I know it already. But, no matter what... I really wanted to share with you guys something that I know so that we'll know it together. Anyway, good luck... May Allah help us in everything.

IDIOMS

i. Elaphant in the room

meaning:

A problem that everyone knows exists but which no one wants to address

example:

Everyone knew Irfan had a manner problem but nobody wanted to deal with this elephant in the room.

ii. Asleep at the switch

meaning:

Careless about responsibilities
example:
Johan was fired after being found asleep at the swith too often.




iii. Off the hook



meaning:
Escape punishment
example:
The police let him off the hook when he agreed to help them

Berjalanlah untuk Mendapatkan Ketenangan

Keluarlah dari rumah, lalu perhatikanlah apa yang ada di sekeliling kita,

di depan mata kita dan di belakang kita

Dakilah gunung-gunung

Jamahlah tanah di lembah-lembah

Panjatlah batang-batang pepohonan

Teguklah air yang jernih

dan

dekatkanlah hidung ke kelopak mawar


Pada masa itu, kita pasti akan merasakan jiwa kita benar-benar merdeka dan bebas seperti burung yang berkicauan melafazkan tasbih di angkasa kebahagiaan.

Keluarlah dari penjara hidup kita dan tutuplah mata kita dengan kain hitam.

Berjalanlah di bumi Allah yang sangat luas ini dengan sentiasa berzikir dan bertasbih..

Marilah sekali-sekala kita membaca quran

di tepi sungai,

di tepi hutan yang rimbun,

di antara burung-burung yang berkicauan

membaca untaian puisi cinta,

atau

di depan gemercik aliran air sungai

yang sedang mengisahkan perjalannya dari hulu ke hilir.

Lihatlah.. Betapa sayangnya Allah kepada kita

Tidak pernah Allah menghadirkan cubaan tanpa cara untuk menyelesaikannya.

Kesedihan..

Kekecewaan..

Keresahan..

Semuanya boleh dihilangkan dengan pelbagai cara...

Jadi, mengapa kita masih ingin membiarkan diri kita musnah ditelan kedukacitaan.

Kedukaan tidak sepatutnya dibiarkan menghancurkan hati dan jiwa kita.

kerana...

dunia yang remeh ini semestinya tidak layak untuk menyebabkan mengalirnya setitis air mata berharga...